Category: Anxiety

Reprocessing the Pain: How EMDR Helps Heal Trauma's Grip

2/2/2024

Trauma can have a debilitating effect on a person's life. The raw emotions, intrusive thoughts, and maladaptive behaviors triggered by past experiences can create a prison of suffering. Fortunately, therapies like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) offer a powerful tool for breaking free.

Beyond Talk Therapy: A Different Approach

Traditional talk therapy often delves into the "why" behind our issues, exploring the roots of our thoughts and behaviors. While valuable, it doesn't always address the raw emotional charge associated with trauma. EMDR takes a different path. We don't just talk about the event; we reprocess it, aiming to shift how the brain stores the memory.

The Power of Bilateral Stimulation:

The "eye movement" in EMDR isn't just a catchy name. It refers to various forms of bilateral stimulation, like side-to-side eye movements, hand taps, or auditory tones. While the exact mechanism remains under investigation, research suggests this stimulation activates the brain's natural processing and healing mechanisms.

Unlocking the Vault:

The first step is to create “grounding,” a safe space to explore the traumatic feelings. During EMDR sessions, you'll safely explore specific aspects of the traumatic memory, focusing on the most disturbing images, thoughts, and emotions. As you do, I'll guide you through the bilateral stimulation, creating a safe space for your brain to begin revisiting and reprocessing the experience.

It's Not About Erasing Memories:

It's important to clarify that EMDR doesn't erase memories. The events themselves remain, but their emotional sting is lessened. Imagine the memory like a locked file cabinet. EMDR helps reorganize that file, making it easier to access without being overwhelmed by the associated negativity.

Transforming the Negative Narrative:

As you reprocess the trauma, you'll also have the opportunity to develop a more empowering narrative about the experience. This could involve identifying positive self-beliefs, like "I am strong" or "I survived," that counter the negative self-talk often linked to trauma.
Beyond Trauma: A Wider Scope:

While EMDR was initially developed for trauma, its applications have expanded. It can be effective for phobias, anxiety, depression, and even grief. The core principle remains the same: addressing the underlying emotional charge associated with distressing experiences.

Is EMDR for Everyone?

Like any therapy, EMDR isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. It requires commitment and active participation. However, for many individuals struggling with the aftereffects of trauma, it can offer a beacon of hope and a path towards healing. If you're interested in exploring EMDR, speaking with a qualified therapist is the first step. Remember, you are not alone in your journey towards healing.

Take The Next Step

Take the next step in your recovery journey. Contact Scott Olds at (303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video evaluation.

Unraveling the Knot: How EMDR Therapy Can Untangle Anxiety's Roots

1/26/2024

As a psychotherapist, I witness the crippling effects of anxiety firsthand. It manifests in countless ways, from social anxieties that keep people isolated to phobias that confine them, to generalized worries that cast a shadow over everyday life. While traditional talk therapy has proven effective, I've found a powerful ally in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – a therapy that helps clients untangle the often-hidden roots of their anxiety.

Beyond Talk Therapy: Healing Beyond Words
Unlike traditional therapy, where we delve into the details of the anxious thoughts and feelings, EMDR takes a different approach. First we create a safe space and focus on the present moment. Then we use bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or rhythmic tapping) to activate the brain's natural processing system. This creates a safe space for clients to gently confront past experiences or negative beliefs that fuel their anxiety.

Unlocking the Vault: Accessing and Reprocessing Painful Memories
Imagine anxiety as a tangled knot. EMDR helps loosen that knot by accessing the underlying memories or beliefs that contribute to it. It's not about reliving trauma in graphic detail, but rather gently nudging the brain to reprocess these experiences in a healthier way. As clients revisit these memories with bilateral stimulation, they often report shifts in perspective, decreased emotional intensity, and a newfound sense of control.

The Science Behind the Shifts:
While the exact mechanism of EMDR remains under exploration, research suggests it impacts the brain's limbic system, which houses our emotional processing center. The bilateral stimulation is thought to activate the amygdala (responsible for fear) and the prefrontal cortex (responsible for logic and reason), facilitating communication and integration of past experiences.

Not a Magic Wand, but a Powerful Tool:
It's important to remember that EMDR is not a magic bullet. It requires active participation from the client and a trusting therapeutic relationship. However, when used appropriately, it can be a transformative tool for those struggling with anxiety. I've witnessed clients who were once consumed by anxiety begin to reclaim their lives, finding peace and empowerment they never thought possible.

Is EMDR Right for You?
If you're struggling with anxiety and are open to exploring new avenues for healing, consider talking to a therapist trained in EMDR. It's not a one-size-fits-all approach, but for many, it can be a powerful key to unlocking a life less tethered by anxiety. Remember, you deserve to live a life free from fear and worry. Take the first step towards emotional well-being today.

Contact Scott today at (303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video call evaluation.

Psychotherapy: Advantages For Treating Anxiety

11/24/2023

Psychotherapy offers several advantages over medication for treating anxiety:

Addresses the root causes of anxiety: Psychotherapy helps individuals identify and understand the underlying thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that contribute to their anxiety. By addressing these root causes, therapy can help individuals develop long-lasting coping mechanisms and prevent future anxiety episodes.
Teaches coping skills: Psychotherapy provides individuals with practical skills and strategies to manage anxiety in the moment. These skills may include relaxation techniques, cognitive restructuring, and exposure therapy. With practice, individuals can learn to effectively manage their anxiety without relying on medication.
Promotes long-term resilience: Psychotherapy not only alleviates current anxiety symptoms but also helps individuals develop resilience against future anxiety and stress. By addressing the underlying causes and teaching coping skills, therapy empowers individuals to manage their mental health effectively over the long term.
No side effects: Unlike medication, psychotherapy does not come with the risk of side effects. This makes it a particularly appealing option for individuals who are hesitant to take medication or who have experienced adverse reactions in the past.
Holistic approach: Psychotherapy addresses the whole person, considering not only psychological factors but also social, emotional, and behavioral aspects. This holistic approach provides a more comprehensive and individualized treatment plan.
Empowers individuals: Psychotherapy encourages self-awareness and promotes self-efficacy. Individuals learn to identify their triggers, manage their emotions, and make positive choices for their mental well-being. This empowerment can lead to greater confidence and improved overall quality of life.
Preventive approach: Psychotherapy can also serve as a preventive measure, helping individuals identify patterns and develop coping skills before anxiety becomes a significant problem. Early intervention can significantly reduce the severity and duration of anxiety disorders.

While medication can provide rapid symptom relief in some cases, psychotherapy offers a more comprehensive and long-term approach to managing anxiety. By addressing the root causes, teaching coping skills, and promoting resilience, psychotherapy empowers individuals to take control of their mental health and achieve lasting well-being.

Scott F. Olds is a psychotherapist who is located in Arvada, Colorado. He offers a free 30-minute phone or video consultation. Appointments can be made by calling (303) 817-8369 or emailing [email protected].

Gaslighting in Relationships

10/13/2023

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person makes another person doubt their perceptions, experiences, memories, or understanding of events that happened. It is a subtle and insidious form of abuse that can have a devastating impact on the victim's mental and emotional health.

Gaslighting can occur in any type of relationship, but it is particularly common in romantic relationships. This is because romantic partners often have a high level of trust and intimacy, which makes them more vulnerable to manipulation.

Gaslighters typically use a variety of tactics to achieve their goals, including:

Denying or minimizing events: A gaslighter might deny that something ever happened, even if the victim has clear evidence that it did. They might also minimize the significance of the event, or try to convince the victim that they are overreacting.
Shifting the blame: Gaslighters often turn the tables on their victims, making them feel responsible for the gaslighter's own bad behavior. They might also blame the victim for being too sensitive or for misinterpreting their intentions.
Isolating the victim: Gaslighters may try to isolate their victims from friends and family, making it more difficult for them to get support and validation. They might also discourage the victim from talking to others about what is happening in the relationship.
Making the victim feel crazy: Gaslighters may try to convince their victims that they are losing their mind, or that they are simply too emotional or unstable to understand reality. They might also make the victim feel like they are the ones who are causing the problems in the relationship.

Over time, gaslighting can have a devastating impact on the victim's self-esteem, confidence, and trust in others. They may start to doubt their own sanity and reality, and they may become withdrawn and isolated. Gaslighting can also lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.

If you are in a relationship with someone who is gaslighting you, it is important to seek help from a qualified psychotherapist. A therapist can help you to understand what is happening to you, and they can provide you with support and guidance as you work to recover from the effects of gaslighting.

Here are some tips for coping with gaslighting in a relationship:

Trust your instincts: If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it probably is. Don't let your partner convince you otherwise.
Talk to someone you trust: It is important to have someone you can talk to about what is happening in your relationship. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or support group.
Keep a record of events: If your partner is gaslighting you, it can be helpful to keep a record of what is happening. This could include writing down dates, times, and details of specific events.
Set boundaries: It is important to set boundaries with your partner, and to stick to them. For example, you might decide that you are no longer willing to engage in conversations about certain topics.
Consider leaving the relationship: If your partner is gaslighting you, it is important to consider leaving the relationship. Gaslighting is a form of abuse, and it is not likely to change unless your partner is willing to seek professional help.

If you are thinking about leaving a gaslighting relationship, it is important to have a safety plan in place. This should include having a place to go where you will be safe, and having a way to contact people who can support you.

It is also important to remember that you are not alone. If gaslighting is a problem in your relationship, therapy can help. Contact Scott at (303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video evaluation.

How the Relationship Style We Learned from Our Parents Influences Us as Adults in a Relationship

9/3/2023

As children, we learn about relationships by watching our parents interact with each other. We see how they communicate, how they resolve conflict, and how they show love and affection. These observations become our template for how we expect relationships to work.

If our parents had a healthy, loving relationship, we are more likely to have secure attachment styles as adults. This means that we feel confident in our ability to form close relationships and that we expect to be loved and supported by our partners.

However, if our parents had an unhealthy or conflictual relationship, we are more likely to have insecure attachment styles. This means that we may have difficulty trusting others, may be afraid of abandonment, or may have a hard time expressing our emotions in relationships.

Of course, our relationship style is not determined solely by our parents. Our own experiences and personality also play a role. However, our parents' relationship style can have a significant impact on how we approach our own relationships as adults.

Generational Influence
The generational influence on relationship styles is a complex topic. There are many factors that can contribute to how we learn about relationships from our parents, including their own attachment styles, their cultural background, and the historical context in which they grew up.

For example, people who grew up in families where there was a lot of conflict may be more likely to have insecure attachment styles. This is because they may have learned that relationships are inherently unstable and that conflict is inevitable.

On the other hand, people who grew up in families where there was a lot of love and support may be more likely to have secure attachment styles. This is because they may have learned that relationships are a source of comfort and security.

It is also important to note that the generational influence on relationship styles can be passed down from generation to generation. This is because children learn about relationships from their parents, who learned about relationships from their parents, and so on.

As a result, it is not uncommon for people to find themselves repeating the same relationship patterns that their parents did. This can be a challenge to break, but it is possible with awareness and effort.

Here are some specific ways that the relationship style we learned from our parents can influence us in our adult relationships:

How we communicate. If our parents communicated in a healthy way, we are more likely to be able to communicate effectively in our own relationships. We will be able to express our needs and feelings in a clear and direct way, and we will be able to listen to our partners' needs and feelings with empathy.
How we resolve conflict. If our parents were able to resolve conflict in a healthy way, we are more likely to be able to do the same in our own relationships. We will be able to see conflict as an opportunity to grow and learn, and we will be able to communicate our needs and feelings in a way that is respectful and constructive.
How we show love and affection. If our parents showed love and affection in a healthy way, we are more likely to be able to do the same in our own relationships. We will be able to express our love and appreciation for our partners in a way that is both genuine and comfortable.

If you are concerned that the relationship style you learned from your parents is negatively impacting your own relationships, there are things you can do to change. You can talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you to understand your attachment style and develop healthier relationship patterns. You can also learn about healthy communication and conflict resolution skills.

Remember, you are not doomed to repeat the relationship patterns you learned from your parents. With awareness and effort, you can create healthy, fulfilling relationships in your own life.

Here are some additional tips for breaking the cycle of unhealthy relationship patterns:

Become aware of your triggers. What are the things that tend to make you feel insecure or anxious in relationships? Once you know your triggers, you can start to develop strategies for coping with them in a healthy way.
Challenge your negative beliefs about relationships. If you have negative beliefs about relationships, such as "I'm not good enough" or "I'm always going to be hurt," challenge these beliefs with evidence to the contrary.
Practice healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. There are many resources available to help you learn these skills. Talk to a therapist, counselor, or read books or articles on the topic.
Be patient with yourself. It takes time and effort to change old patterns. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately. Just keep practicing and you will eventually break the cycle.

If you need help with your relationship, contact Scott Olds at (303) 817-8369 or [email protected].

Shame As It Relates To Caregivers of the Chronically Ill

8/11/2023

As a psychotherapist and in my personal life, I have seen firsthand the impact that shame can have on caregivers for the chronically ill. Shame can be a powerful emotion that can lead to feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and worthlessness. It can also make it difficult to ask for help or support.

There are a number of reasons why caregivers may feel shame. They may feel ashamed of the illness itself, or of the way it has changed their lives. They may feel ashamed of their own limitations, or of the things they have to do to care for their loved one. They may also feel ashamed of the financial or emotional burden that the illness has placed on their family.

Shame can have a significant impact on a caregiver's mental and physical health. It can lead to anxiety, depression, stress, and burnout. It can also make it difficult to cope with the demands of caregiving.

If you are a caregiver for a chronically ill loved one, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many other caregivers who are going through the same thing. You are not to blame for the illness, and you are not inadequate. You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation.

If you are struggling with feelings of shame, there are things you can do to cope. First, it is important to talk to someone about how you are feeling. A therapist can help you to understand your shame and develop coping mechanisms. You can also find support groups for caregivers, where you can connect with others who understand what you are going through.

It is also important to remember to take care of yourself. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. You should also make time for activities that you enjoy. Taking care of yourself will help you to be better able to cope with the demands of caregiving.

If you are struggling with feelings of shame, please know that you are not alone. There is help available. Please reach out for support.

Here are some additional resources for caregivers who are struggling with shame:

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers a caregiver support group program called "Family-to-Family." This program provides education, support, and resources to family members and friends of people with mental illness.
The National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) offers a variety of resources for caregivers, including a website, a helpline, and a bimonthly magazine.
The Caregiver Action Network (CAN) offers a variety of resources for caregivers, including a website, a helpline, and a toolkit for managing stress.

Please remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope with the challenges of caregiving.

If you are struggling as a caregiver and need help, contact Scott at (303) 817-8369 or [email protected].

The Emotional and Psychological Toll Due to Chronic Illness

8/4/2023

As a psychotherapist, I have seen firsthand the emotional and psychological toll that chronic illness can take on individuals and their families. The physical symptoms of chronic illness can be debilitating, but the emotional and psychological effects can be just as challenging.

Some of the common emotional and psychological challenges that people with chronic illness face include:

Fear and anxiety: People with chronic illness often live with a constant fear of the unknown. They may worry about the future course of their illness, the possibility of complications, or even death. This fear can lead to anxiety, which can manifest in a variety of ways, such as difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, and increased irritability.
Depression: Depression is a common mental health disorder that can be triggered by chronic illness. People with depression may experience feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and fatigue. They may also lose interest in activities they used to enjoy and have difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
Anger: Anger is another common emotion that people with chronic illness experience. They may be angry at their illness, at their doctors, at their family and friends, or even at themselves. Anger can be a destructive emotion, but it can also be a motivating force.
Grief: People with chronic illness often experience grief, both for the life they used to have and for the life they may never have. They may grieve the loss of their health, their independence, their relationships, or even their dreams.
Isolation: People with chronic illness can often feel isolated from their friends and family. They may feel like they are no longer able to participate in the activities they used to enjoy, and they may feel like a burden to their loved ones. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness, sadness, and despair.

The emotional and psychological toll of chronic illness can be significant, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope with the challenges of chronic illness, including therapy, support groups, and online resources.

If you are struggling to cope with the emotional and psychological effects of chronic illness, please reach out for help. There is no shame in seeking help, and it can make a big difference in your quality of life.

Tips for Coping with the Emotional and Psychological Toll of Chronic Illness

Talk to someone you trust: Talking about your feelings can help you to process them and to feel less alone. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or support group member.
Find healthy ways to cope with stress: This could include exercise, relaxation techniques, or spending time in nature.
Take care of yourself: Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise.
Set realistic goals: Don't try to do too much too soon. Set small, achievable goals for yourself and celebrate your successes.
Don't be afraid to ask for help: There are many people who are willing to help you, so don't be afraid to reach out.

Coping with the emotional and psychological toll of chronic illness can be challenging, but it is possible. By taking care of yourself and seeking support, you can live a full and meaningful life.

To find out more, schedule an appointment with Scott Olds at (303) 817-8369 or email me at [email protected].

How a Psychotherapist Can Help a Highly Sensitive Person Manage Anxiety

7/28/2023

As a psychotherapist, I often work with highly sensitive people (HSPs) who struggle with anxiety. HSPs are individuals who process information more deeply and intensely than the average person. This can make them more susceptible to anxiety, as they are more likely to be overwhelmed by sensory stimuli and emotional triggers.

There are a number of ways that a psychotherapist can help an HSP manage anxiety. Here are a few of the most common:

Helping the HSP understand their anxiety. The first step to managing anxiety is to understand what it is and why it happens. A psychotherapist can help the HSP understand their triggers, their thought patterns, and their coping mechanisms. This can help the HSP to feel more in control of their anxiety and to develop more effective coping strategies.
Teaching the HSP relaxation techniques. There are a number of relaxation techniques that can be helpful for people with anxiety. These techniques can help the HSP to calm their body and mind, and they can also help them to reduce stress. Some relaxation techniques that a psychotherapist may teach an HSP include deep breathing, meditation, and yoga.
Helping the HSP set boundaries. HSPs are often empathic and sensitive to the needs of others. This can be a great quality, but it can also lead to feeling overwhelmed and drained. A psychotherapist can help the HSP to set boundaries and learn to say no. This will help the HSP to protect their energy and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Helping the HSP develop a self-care routine. HSPs often need more self-care than the average person. This means making sure they get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Self-care can help the HSP manage stress and anxiety, and it can also help them to feel better overall.
Providing support and encouragement. Anxiety can be a difficult condition to deal with, and it is important for the HSP to have someone to talk to who understands what they are going through. A psychotherapist can provide support and encouragement, and they can also help the HSP to stay motivated on their journey to recovery.

If you are an HSP who is struggling with anxiety, know that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you manage your symptoms and thrive. With the right support, you can live a happy and fulfilling life.

Here are some additional tips for HSPs who are struggling with anxiety:

Find a psychotherapist who understands HSPs. Not all psychotherapists are familiar with HSPs, so it is important to find one who understands your needs.
Be patient with yourself. It takes time to learn how to manage anxiety, so be patient with yourself and don't give up.
Remember that you are not alone. There are many other HSPs who are struggling with anxiety, and you are not alone.

With the right support, you can learn to manage your anxiety and live a happy and fulfilling life.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person in an Abusive Relationship

7/14/2023

If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) in an abusive relationship, you may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and even hopeless. You may be wondering if you are crazy or if you are just too sensitive.
The truth is, you are not crazy. You are simply a highly sensitive person who has gotten into a relationship with an abuser. Abuse can take many forms, including physical, emotional, verbal, and financial abuse.
As an HSP, you are naturally empathic and caring. You are drawn to people who are in need, and you want to help them. This makes you a prime target for an abuser. Abusers are often very good at manipulating and controlling others, and they can easily take advantage of your sensitivity.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you may be experiencing some of the following:

You feel like you are walking on eggshells. You never know what will set off the abuser, and you are constantly afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing.
You feel like you are never good enough. The abuser is constantly criticizing you, and they make you feel like you are never measuring up.
You feel isolated and alone. The abuser may isolate you from your friends and family, and they may make you feel like you are the only person who understands them.
You feel exhausted and drained. Dealing with an abuser is emotionally and mentally exhausting. You may feel like you are constantly giving and giving, and you never get anything in return.

If you are experiencing any of these things, it is important to know that you are not alone. There are many other HSPs who have been in similar situations. You are not crazy, and you are not to blame.
If you are ready to get out of your abusive relationship, there are a few things you can do:

Seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand your relationship with the abuser, and they can teach you how to set boundaries and protect yourself.
Build a support network. Talk to your friends and family about what you are going through. They can offer you support and encouragement.
Take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. Taking care of yourself will help you to cope with the stress of the situation.

Breaking up with an abuser is not easy, but it is possible. With the right support, you can heal from the relationship and move on with your life.
If you are a highly sensitive person in an abusive relationship, please know that you are not alone. There is help available. Please reach out to Scott Olds, Psychotherapist, for support.
Here are some additional resources that you may find helpful:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
The National Center for Victims of Crime: 1-800-FYI-CALL
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE

To find out more, schedule an appointment with Scott Olds at (303) 817-8369 or email me at [email protected].

10 Things Highly Sensitive People Do To Feel Better And Stay Well

6/6/2022

Highly sensitive people can feel stressed, anxious, or depressed when overwhelmed with sensory overload, with too much happening around them too quickly. While no single activity is a silver bullet to well-being for the highly sensitive, research shows that a combination of these low-intensity positive activities contributes to harmony and well-being.

Positive emotion - Make time each day for yourself to do something that makes you feel good.
Self-awareness - Practice self-awareness to identify the activities that increase your well-being or detract from it. Practicing mindfulness can help.
Self-acceptance - Find peace with yourself by accepting who you are. Perfect is not the goal, progress is.
Positive social relationships balanced by times of solitude - Spend time with those that contribute to your sense of well-being and less with those that undermine it. Make time for yourself to recharge in either event.
Connecting with nature - Nature has a positive effect on us, reducing stress and anxiety. Go for a nature walk with your bestie!
Contemplative practices - Mindfulness calms the mind and turns down the volume of the external stimuli that make us crazy. Deep breathing also reduces your blood pressure.
Emotional self-regulation - When you become aware that your emotions are being triggered, take a moment to rebalance yourself with a few deep breaths. Find a moment of peace.
Practicing self-compassion - Be kind to yourself. We are imperfect and it is ok! Striving to do our best is sufficient. Intent matters.
Having a sense of meaning - Have a goal, a purpose for your life. Without a purpose, we drift or let others decide for us. With a purpose, we can move beyond the stress of the moment.
Hope/optimism - Hope and optimism help us overcome sensory overload, replacing feelings of overwhelm and stress.

Be gentle with yourself. Embrace sensitivity for the positive benefits and learn to manage the challenges. These 10 practices can help you regain a sense of balance and calm when you feel overstimulated and overwhelmed.

If you think you may be highly sensitive and need additional help overcoming anger, stress, or depression, call Scott Olds, Psychotherapist at (303) 817-8369 or [email protected] for a free consultation. Scott is located in Arvada, Colorado.

<<Previous

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO
The Hope Blog