Category: Grief And Loss

Guilt and Grief: How to Overcome Them

9/8/2023

Guilt and grief are two of the most common emotions that people experience after a loss. Guilt can be caused by a variety of factors, such as feeling responsible for the loss, wishing that you had done something differently, or feeling like you didn't love the person enough. Grief is the natural emotional response to loss, and it can manifest itself in a variety of ways, such as sadness, anger, anxiety, and loneliness.

While guilt and grief are normal emotions, they can be difficult to cope with. If you are struggling to overcome guilt and grief, there are a few things that you can do:

Acknowledge your feelings. The first step to overcoming guilt and grief is to acknowledge your feelings. It is important to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling, without judgment.
Talk about your feelings. Talking about your feelings can be helpful in processing them and moving on. Talk to a therapist, a friend, or a family member about what you are going through.
Challenge your negative thoughts. Guilt often stems from negative thoughts about yourself, such as "I should have done more" or "I'm a bad person." Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are realistic and helpful.
Forgive yourself. If you are feeling guilty, it is important to forgive yourself. This does not mean that you have to forget what happened, but it does mean that you need to let go of the guilt, process the unhelpful emotions, and heal.
Take care of yourself. When you are grieving, it is important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. You may also want to consider joining a support group or talking to a therapist.

Overcoming guilt and grief takes time and effort, but it is possible. By following these tips, you can start to heal and move on with your life.

Here are some additional tips that a psychotherapist might use to help a client overcome guilt and grief:

Grief counseling can help clients to understand the grieving process and to develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Support groups can provide a safe space for clients to share their experiences with others who are going through the same thing.

If you are struggling to overcome guilt and grief, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with the support and guidance that you need to heal.

Call Scott at (303) 817-8369 or email at scott@springsnewhope.com to see if grief counseling is right for you.

Shame As It Relates To Caregivers of the Chronically Ill

8/11/2023

As a psychotherapist and in my personal life, I have seen firsthand the impact that shame can have on caregivers for the chronically ill. Shame can be a powerful emotion that can lead to feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and worthlessness. It can also make it difficult to ask for help or support.
There are a number of reasons why caregivers may feel shame. They may feel ashamed of the illness itself, or of the way it has changed their lives. They may feel ashamed of their own limitations, or of the things they have to do to care for their loved one. They may also feel ashamed of the financial or emotional burden that the illness has placed on their family.
Shame can have a significant impact on a caregiver's mental and physical health. It can lead to anxiety, depression, stress, and burnout. It can also make it difficult to cope with the demands of caregiving.
If you are a caregiver for a chronically ill loved one, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many other caregivers who are going through the same thing. You are not to blame for the illness, and you are not inadequate. You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation.
If you are struggling with feelings of shame, there are things you can do to cope. First, it is important to talk to someone about how you are feeling. A therapist can help you to understand your shame and develop coping mechanisms. You can also find support groups for caregivers, where you can connect with others who understand what you are going through.
It is also important to remember to take care of yourself. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. You should also make time for activities that you enjoy. Taking care of yourself will help you to be better able to cope with the demands of caregiving.
If you are struggling with feelings of shame, please know that you are not alone. There is help available. Please reach out for support.
Here are some additional resources for caregivers who are struggling with shame:

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers a caregiver support group program called "Family-to-Family." This program provides education, support, and resources to family members and friends of people with mental illness.
The National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) offers a variety of resources for caregivers, including a website, a helpline, and a bimonthly magazine.
The Caregiver Action Network (CAN) offers a variety of resources for caregivers, including a website, a helpline, and a toolkit for managing stress.

Please remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope with the challenges of caregiving.
If you are struggling as a caregiver and need help, contact Scott at (303) 817-8369 or scott@springsnewhope.com.

The Emotional and Psychological Toll Due to Chronic Illness

8/4/2023

As a psychotherapist, I have seen firsthand the emotional and psychological toll that chronic illness can take on individuals and their families. The physical symptoms of chronic illness can be debilitating, but the emotional and psychological effects can be just as challenging.

Some of the common emotional and psychological challenges that people with chronic illness face include:

Fear and anxiety: People with chronic illness often live with a constant fear of the unknown. They may worry about the future course of their illness, the possibility of complications, or even death. This fear can lead to anxiety, which can manifest in a variety of ways, such as difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, and increased irritability.
Depression: Depression is a common mental health disorder that can be triggered by chronic illness. People with depression may experience feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and fatigue. They may also lose interest in activities they used to enjoy and have difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
Anger: Anger is another common emotion that people with chronic illness experience. They may be angry at their illness, at their doctors, at their family and friends, or even at themselves. Anger can be a destructive emotion, but it can also be a motivating force.
Grief: People with chronic illness often experience grief, both for the life they used to have and for the life they may never have. They may grieve the loss of their health, their independence, their relationships, or even their dreams.
Isolation: People with chronic illness can often feel isolated from their friends and family. They may feel like they are no longer able to participate in the activities they used to enjoy, and they may feel like a burden to their loved ones. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness, sadness, and despair.

The emotional and psychological toll of chronic illness can be significant, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope with the challenges of chronic illness, including therapy, support groups, and online resources.

If you are struggling to cope with the emotional and psychological effects of chronic illness, please reach out for help. There is no shame in seeking help, and it can make a big difference in your quality of life.

Tips for Coping with the Emotional and Psychological Toll of Chronic Illness

Talk to someone you trust: Talking about your feelings can help you to process them and to feel less alone. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or support group member.
Find healthy ways to cope with stress: This could include exercise, relaxation techniques, or spending time in nature.
Take care of yourself: Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise.
Set realistic goals: Don't try to do too much too soon. Set small, achievable goals for yourself and celebrate your successes.
Don't be afraid to ask for help: There are many people who are willing to help you, so don't be afraid to reach out.

Coping with the emotional and psychological toll of chronic illness can be challenging, but it is possible. By taking care of yourself and seeking support, you can live a full and meaningful life.

To find out more, schedule an appointment with Scott Olds at (303) 817-8369 or email me at scott@springsnewhope.com.

From Grief to Hope

11/24/2017

My Story
I open my blog with a story of how I arrived at grief and loss counseling.

My journey through grief and recovery began when my wife was diagnosed with ALS, an incurable, debilitating, and fatal disease. Everything changed for us. I went from husband to caregiver and Teri went from family caregiver to patient. We felt a deep sense of loss.

We lost our stability, peace, and privacy. Our house became “Grand Central Station,” with weekly doctor visits and all manner of tests. Even our happy house of 20 years became a challenge, lacking handicap accessibility.

Our life was changing and we felt powerless to stop it. At first she needed a cane, then a walker, and finally a wheelchair, all within the first four months. We reached out and began attending monthly ALS support groups. There, a patient told us that ALS stands for ”always losing something” -- I agreed -- not just for the patient, but for everyone involved in this journey.

The first year was filled with grief for the loss of many things. The hardest thing I had ever done was to tell my children their mother was going to die. I will never forget the look in their eyes. Surprisingly our relationships with extended family and friends changed. Individuals I expected to be there for us became distant, unable to cope with our situation, while others, unexpectedly, stepped in with incredible support. For Teri and me that first year was miserable. As a couple we were frustrated and angry. Publicly we appeared to be coping well. Alone, the tears poured out.

With the help of counseling and support groups, we improved our coping skills and regained a measure of control over our lives. We realized that quality of life was most important to us and resolved to make the most of it. We made some tough medical decisions and shifted our focus to caring for each other and sharing our experience with others.

I learned the hard way and eventually with the help of others. Today, I pass on what I learned about grief to help you move beyond loss to experience joy and happiness.

Defining Grief
Broadly defined, grief is the loss of anything to which we are emotionally attached. When I began counseling, my focus was death and dying because that's what I understood. As I worked with others, I realized grief touched them in many ways. To help them, I trained on techniques for marriage and family, trauma, childhood development, working with couples. The more I learned, it always circled back to some form of grief or loss. Indeed, grief and loss is frequently a factor in counseling. We are always trying to return to the perception of normal.

Some changes are by choice like getting married or moving to a new house. Adjusting to involuntary changes is harder. Grief gets shoved into a small corner when in truth it can shade many of our experiences, from the simple to the complex.

Here are a few examples that can cause grief and unresolved emotional pain.

Job loss can be devastating, particularly if our sense of purpose and self-worth is attached to that job.
Aging can create a sense of loss, as our health and independence deteriorate. Once simple tasks like standing or walking become a challenge, creating feelings of frustration and sadness. Age challenges our relationships too as those close to us drift away or pass on, be they a spouse, a child, or close friends. With a career or family behind us, we may feel disoriented, depressed, or lack a sense of purpose.
A parent, spouse, or close friend may develop dementia or other terminal illness and we grieve for both their loss and ours.
A traumatic brain injury can change your life. After the wounds heal, emotional disturbances may persist caused by our attachment to who we were.
Loss of a spouse or a child can cause us intense emotional distress. You care and it still hurts.
Grief can result from the loss of a house, car, or something special and irreplaceable.

As you can see, grief can occur at any time and in many forms.

Any big change in our lives can have some grief of what we wanted or thought about where your life was headed. Life is about change and when change happens you have loss. In that way grief and loss is part of life.

The Problem of Grief
What is the impact? Grief can be expressed physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. The symptoms of grief are varied and might include frequent crying, difficulty sleeping or feeling detached from others. Depression is a typical response that can adversely impact your health, relationships, and career. Feelings of anger and frustration can result from not getting the support you need from friends and relatives. Denial can lead to intense sorrow and anger. Untreated grief numbs your feelings, takes the joy and happiness out of life.

Support from friends may be too much or too little, even if well intended. Some friends become distant while others repeatedly ask the same questions, reminding us of our unresolved grief without resolving it.

You can't hold your feelings inside. If your symptoms of grief persist, treatment can help. You are not alone.

Treating Grief
Counseling is an effective treatment for grief, reducing the symptoms and helps you reintegrate with your friends and experience joy again.

The techniques I use are highly personalized because everyone’s needs are different. I evaluate each client and develop a personal connection to know your unique needs. The treatment plan is customized for you.

I am a man in a field dominated by women. Men are frequently perceived as uncaring and lack compassion. I enjoy the chance to change my client’s minds. Establishing that emotional connection, a sense of caring, improves outcomes.

You can't make progress without being in a safe place. Compassion is an essential part of how I work and I use active listening to engage my clients in a safe space. I don't force anyone down a path that makes them uncomfortable. Everyone deals with grief differently. My goal is to help those who are overwhelmed, and their lives disrupted, to bring hope and joy to living again.

Hope
All these things can be helped if you take the first step and seek professional help. As a grief and loss counselor, people ask how I can be around so much sadness and depression. I tell them what an incredible experience it is to watch someone transcend grief and feel happiness joy and laughter.

I am here to guide you to a better place in your life, out of the darkness into the light, from despair to hope.

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO
The Hope Blog

Guilt and Grief: How to Overcome Them

Shame As It Relates To Caregivers of the Chronically Ill

The Emotional and Psychological Toll Due to Chronic Illness

From Grief to Hope

Author

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Call Scott at
(303) 817-8369 or email at Scott@springsnewhope.com
for a free phone or video evaluation.

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO​The Hope Blog

Guilt and Grief: How to Overcome Them

Shame As It Relates To Caregivers of the Chronically Ill

The Emotional and Psychological Toll Due to Chronic Illness

From Grief to Hope

Author

Categories

Archives

​Call Scott at​(303) 817-8369 or email at Scott@springsnewhope.com ​for a free phone or video evaluation.

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO
The Hope Blog

Call Scott at
(303) 817-8369 or email at Scott@springsnewhope.com
for a free phone or video evaluation.