Blog Archives

Gaslighting in Relationships

10/13/2023

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person makes another person doubt their perceptions, experiences, memories, or understanding of events that happened. It is a subtle and insidious form of abuse that can have a devastating impact on the victim's mental and emotional health.

Gaslighting can occur in any type of relationship, but it is particularly common in romantic relationships. This is because romantic partners often have a high level of trust and intimacy, which makes them more vulnerable to manipulation.

Gaslighters typically use a variety of tactics to achieve their goals, including:

Denying or minimizing events: A gaslighter might deny that something ever happened, even if the victim has clear evidence that it did. They might also minimize the significance of the event, or try to convince the victim that they are overreacting.
Shifting the blame: Gaslighters often turn the tables on their victims, making them feel responsible for the gaslighter's own bad behavior. They might also blame the victim for being too sensitive or for misinterpreting their intentions.
Isolating the victim: Gaslighters may try to isolate their victims from friends and family, making it more difficult for them to get support and validation. They might also discourage the victim from talking to others about what is happening in the relationship.
Making the victim feel crazy: Gaslighters may try to convince their victims that they are losing their mind, or that they are simply too emotional or unstable to understand reality. They might also make the victim feel like they are the ones who are causing the problems in the relationship.

Over time, gaslighting can have a devastating impact on the victim's self-esteem, confidence, and trust in others. They may start to doubt their own sanity and reality, and they may become withdrawn and isolated. Gaslighting can also lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.

If you are in a relationship with someone who is gaslighting you, it is important to seek help from a qualified psychotherapist. A therapist can help you to understand what is happening to you, and they can provide you with support and guidance as you work to recover from the effects of gaslighting.

Here are some tips for coping with gaslighting in a relationship:

Trust your instincts: If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it probably is. Don't let your partner convince you otherwise.
Talk to someone you trust: It is important to have someone you can talk to about what is happening in your relationship. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or support group.
Keep a record of events: If your partner is gaslighting you, it can be helpful to keep a record of what is happening. This could include writing down dates, times, and details of specific events.
Set boundaries: It is important to set boundaries with your partner, and to stick to them. For example, you might decide that you are no longer willing to engage in conversations about certain topics.
Consider leaving the relationship: If your partner is gaslighting you, it is important to consider leaving the relationship. Gaslighting is a form of abuse, and it is not likely to change unless your partner is willing to seek professional help.

If you are thinking about leaving a gaslighting relationship, it is important to have a safety plan in place. This should include having a place to go where you will be safe, and having a way to contact people who can support you.

It is also important to remember that you are not alone. If gaslighting is a problem in your relationship, therapy can help. Contact Scott at (303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video evaluation.

Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist

10/6/2023

I often work with clients who are struggling to set boundaries with a narcissist. Narcissists are people with a personality disorder that is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

Narcissists can be very difficult to deal with, as they often try to control and manipulate the people around them. They may also be very critical and demanding. It is important to remember that you cannot change a narcissist's behavior. However, you can set boundaries to protect yourself from their abuse.

Here are some tips for setting boundaries with a narcissist:

Identify your boundaries. What are the things that you are willing and unwilling to do? What are the things that you will and will not tolerate? Once you know what your boundaries are, it will be easier to communicate them to the narcissist.
Be clear and direct. When communicating your boundaries, be clear and direct. Avoid using vague or ambiguous language. For example, instead of saying "I don't like it when you criticize me," say "I need you to stop criticizing me. It makes me feel bad about myself."
Be firm. It is important to be firm when setting boundaries with a narcissist. This means not giving in to their demands or manipulation. It is also important to be consistent with your boundaries. If you give in one time, the narcissist will be more likely to try to control you in the future.
Be prepared for consequences. It is important to be prepared for the possibility that the narcissist will not respect your boundaries. If this happens, you may need to enforce your boundaries by withdrawing from the relationship or by taking other steps to protect yourself.

Here are some additional tips for setting boundaries with a narcissist:

Don't try to explain your boundaries. Narcissists are not interested in understanding your perspective. They only care about what they want. Trying to explain your boundaries to a narcissist is only going to frustrate you.
Don't engage in arguments or power struggles. Narcissists love to argue and fight. If you get into an argument with a narcissist, they are going to try to win at all costs. This means that they will say and do anything to hurt you and make you feel bad. If you find yourself arguing with a narcissist, simply disengage and walk away.
Seek support from others. Narcissists try to isolate you from others. It can be very helpful to talk to a friend, family member, or therapist about what you are going through. They can offer support and guidance as you work to set boundaries with the narcissist in your life.

It is important to remember that you cannot change a narcissist. However, you can set boundaries to protect yourself from their abuse. By setting and enforcing boundaries, you are taking steps to protect your well-being.

If you are struggling to set boundaries with a narcissist, please know that you are not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help. Please reach out to a friend, family member, therapist, or other support person for help.

I can help. Call Scott at (303) 817) 8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video evaluation.

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO
The Hope Blog

Gaslighting in Relationships

Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist

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Call Scott at
(303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video evaluation.

Convenient online scheduling, 24 x 7.

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO​The Hope Blog

Gaslighting in Relationships

Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist

Author

Categories

Archives

​Call Scott at​(303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] ​for a free phone or video evaluation.​Convenient online scheduling, 24 x 7.

Counseling Services In Arvada, CO
The Hope Blog

Call Scott at
(303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free phone or video evaluation.

Convenient online scheduling, 24 x 7.