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The Hope Blog

The Relationship Between Sensitivity and Boundary Issues

9/22/2023

 
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The Relationship Between Sensitivity and Boundary Issues
Sensitive people are often more attuned to the emotions of others and their surroundings. This can be a gift, but it can also make it difficult to set and maintain healthy boundaries.
Here are some of the reasons why sensitive people may struggle with boundaries:
  • They may feel guilty or selfish for setting boundaries. Sensitive people often have a strong sense of empathy and compassion. They may worry that setting boundaries will hurt other people's feelings or lead to conflict.
  • They may have trouble identifying their own needs. Sensitive people may be so focused on the needs of others that they neglect their own. This can make it difficult to know when they need to set boundaries.
  • They may have difficulty communicating their needs. Sensitive people may be afraid of being rejected or criticized, so they may avoid communicating their needs directly. This can lead to resentment and frustration on their part.
  • They may have a history of boundary violations. If a sensitive person has experienced boundary violations in the past, they may be more likely to have difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in the present.

Here are some of the ways that boundary issues can manifest in sensitive people:
  • They may overextend themselves. Sensitive people may agree to do things that they don't have the time or energy for, simply because they don't want to let others down.
  • They may have difficulty saying no. Sensitive people may find it difficult to say no to others, even when they don't want to do something. This can lead to them feeling overwhelmed and resentful.
  • They may be easily manipulated. Sensitive people may be more susceptible to manipulation, especially if they are afraid of hurting other people's feelings.
  • They may have difficulty trusting others. If a sensitive person has been betrayed or hurt in the past, they may have difficulty trusting others to respect their boundaries.

If you are a sensitive person and you struggle with boundaries, there are a few things you can do to improve the situation:
  • Learn to identify your needs. It's important to be aware of your own needs and to be able to communicate them to others.
  • Practice setting boundaries. Start by setting small boundaries, such as saying no to social engagements that you don't want to attend. As you get more comfortable, you can start to set bigger boundaries.
  • Be assertive. It's important to be able to communicate your needs and boundaries assertively. This means being clear and direct, but also being respectful of others.
  • Seek professional help. If you are struggling to set and maintain healthy boundaries on your own, consider seeking professional help from a therapist.

It's important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you need to set a boundary. And you don't have to apologize for setting a boundary. Setting boundaries is a way of taking care of yourself and protecting your well-being.

Here are some additional tips for sensitive people who struggle with boundaries:
  • Listen to your intuition. Your intuition is your inner voice that tells you what's right for you. If you have a bad feeling about something, trust your gut.
  • Take time for yourself. It's important to have time to recharge and de-stress. Make sure to schedule time for yourself each week, and do things that you enjoy.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people. Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and who make you feel good about yourself.
  • Don't be afraid to say no. It's okay to say no to requests, even if they come from people you care about. Remember, you have the right to choose how you spend your time and energy.

Setting boundaries can be difficult for anyone, but it's especially challenging for sensitive people. However, it's important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries, and that doing so is essential for your well-being.

Remember, seeking help is a courageous step towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. You don't have to face these challenges alone.
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If you're ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and healthier relationships, I invite you to schedule a confidential consultation with me. Together, we can work towards a happier, more harmonious life.

Take the first step towards healing today.

Contact Scott Olds at (303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] for a free and confidential evaluation by phone or video.

Guilt and Grief: How to Overcome Them

9/8/2023

 
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Guilt and grief are two of the most common emotions that people experience after a loss. Guilt can be caused by a variety of factors, such as feeling responsible for the loss, wishing that you had done something differently, or feeling like you didn't love the person enough. Grief is the natural emotional response to loss, and it can manifest itself in a variety of ways, such as sadness, anger, anxiety, and loneliness.

While guilt and grief are normal emotions, they can be difficult to cope with. If you are struggling to overcome guilt and grief, there are a few things that you can do:
  1. Acknowledge your feelings. The first step to overcoming guilt and grief is to acknowledge your feelings. It is important to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling, without judgment.
  2. Talk about your feelings. Talking about your feelings can be helpful in processing them and moving on. Talk to a therapist, a friend, or a family member about what you are going through.
  3. Challenge your negative thoughts. Guilt often stems from negative thoughts about yourself, such as "I should have done more" or "I'm a bad person." Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are realistic and helpful.
  4. Forgive yourself. If you are feeling guilty, it is important to forgive yourself. This does not mean that you have to forget what happened, but it does mean that you need to let go of the guilt, process the unhelpful emotions, and heal.
  5. Take care of yourself. When you are grieving, it is important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. You may also want to consider joining a support group or talking to a therapist.
Overcoming guilt and grief takes time and effort, but it is possible. By following these tips, you can start to heal and move on with your life.
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Here are some additional tips that a psychotherapist might use to help a client overcome guilt and grief:
  • Grief counseling can help clients to understand the grieving process and to develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Support groups can provide a safe space for clients to share their experiences with others who are going through the same thing.
If you are struggling to overcome guilt and grief, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with the support and guidance that you need to heal.

Call Scott at (303) 817-8369 or email at [email protected] to see if grief counseling is right for you.


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    Scott F. Olds, Psychotherapist
    I provide counseling for trauma, anxiety, and PTSD using EMDR. I particularly enjoy working with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). I work with individuals and couples.

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I offer sessions in the office, in an open space (weather permitting), by phone, and by video sessions for your safety and convenience. Take a deep breath and give me a call at (303) 817-8369 or email me at [email protected].

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​Crisis Information: If you are in crisis, call Colorado Crisis and Support at 844-493-8255 or the national Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 for 24/7 for help in an emergency. These lifelines provide free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention, and crisis resources for you or your loved ones.​
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​Scott F. Olds, Psychotherapist
(303) 817-8369
​[email protected]
10960 W. 65th Way
Arvada, Colorado 80004
My office is in Arvada, Colorado.
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  • Counseling
    • EMDR For Trauma
    • Highly Sensitive Person Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Grief Counseling
    • Counseling for Chronic Illness
  • Bio
    • Privacy Policy
    • Medical Disclaimer
  • Contact
  • The Hope Blog